Proven to Be True--God

God has proven Himself to me once again. Not that I ever doubted, but when God shows Himself to be right after being obedient, it does wonders for faith. I cannot tell you h0w wonderful my Father is. Well, let me try. For a few months now God has been really pressing me and shaking things in my life. This act has actually pushed me deeper into Himself.

I have always been afraid of pain, of being vulnerable, of being rejected by people and friends. I decided that I didn't want to live like that anymore and knew that if I wanted to get closer to God I was going to have to embrace pain and deal with my hurts and fears. I "cowboy-ed up" and bit the bullet. It has been the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. My life is at peace, I know I am comforted, and I am blessed beyond what I would have thought could be possible.

I have learned that people are not constant; they make decisions and change their minds and rise and fall, flourish and whither, and the ebb and flow of life's currents pushes and pull them through things that are good, bad, beautiful and ugly. However, there is a constant--Jesus. I have come to know that to be the truth of the matter. It doesn't matter if people go to and fro and bob and weave through life cause Jesus is my Rock on whom I am standing.

I know that friends can hurt, but oh how sweet it is when they bless. God has proven that no matter what happens in my life, He will always be constant. He will always be there to comfort me when the hurts of friends or enemies sink in. He has proven that He can restore, and prevent, and bless friendships that are centered on Himself.

Friends are God's conduits for growth and maturity--a catalyst if you will. He delights in using relationships to show Himself. I love friends, and I love knowing Jesus loves me and my friends and delights in our relationships and teaches us through each other.

The the storm may rage outside, my heart is at perfect peace cause I know that my Redeemer lives and He pursues me with a passion that cannot be compared. I am my Beloveds and He is mine. It doesn't matter if friends hurt me or love me because my hope in not in them, my hope is in Christ. He is my Savior. I have learned that people just sometimes don't know what they want, but it just comes with time, and time sorts everything out in the end. I know God is for me and not against me, and I am for God and not against Him and will continue to practice simple obedience cause above all else God desires obedience. I just feel like stopping everything and just worshiping Him. He has captured my heart and holds it in His hand. One look and I am weak in the knees and must just honor Him. Thank you Jesus

You have captured my heart,
my treasure, my bride.
You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes,
with a single jewel of your necklace.
Your love delights me,
my treasure, my bride.
Your love is better than wine,
your perfume more fragrant than spices.

Song of Solomon 4:8-10 (New Living Translation)

Thursday Thirteen #1

Twelve Bones I Have Broken and Some Stitches Too

1. Broke my right arm at 5 years old. My brother WWF body slammed me to the ground. It hurt!

2. Four weeks after I got the plaster off that arm I fell of the monkey bars and broke my left arm. (did get to ride the firetruck to the hospital) That hurt too.

3. At 8 years old I tried to jump over a wire (the kind that are set up in parking lots to keep cars off the walking area), well...I missed and slammed my knee into the pavement. Cracked my knee-cap. The one hurt like crazy.

4. At 11 years old, I was playing American Football and did a cart-wheel in the air after getting hit. Land on my shoulder and broke my left clavicle (collar bone). So not fun!

5. The next year was playing American Football and got tripped before I caught the ball. My hand turned on me funny, and I broke my left wrist again. Played the next game without a plaster cause it was the championship game. We lost.

6. During cross country season the same year, I tried to jump over a guard rail on the road--and missed and broke my right clavicle (collar bone). Yeah, I know, pretty lame!

7. Playing basketball the next year. Went up for a rebound, came down (without the ball) and broke my left ankle.

8. A week later, I tripped on my plaster going down the stairs and end up breaking my left wrist again!

9. It gets better. I tried to play basketball with both my plasters on (with little kids). Turned funny on my right ankle and broke that poor ankle. I was then in a wheelchair with three plasters.

10. Moved to Hong Kong around 15 or 16 and was playing street ball. Broke my left ankle again.

11. Didn't do my physical therapy and broke my left ankle again a year later playing street ball on the same court. I know, I never learned.

12. Then, in University, I was playing a game of indoor Ultimate Frisbee and ran into the wall and broke my big, left toe. That was almost the worst cause you can't put the toe in a plaster, yet I still needed to walk.

13. I have also had staples in my head (from basketball), almost lost my Pinkie finger at two (car door accident), and I had stitches in my hand from more stupidity--I tried to turn a knob on a heavy spotlight to see if it would move up. This action loosened the spotlight and it came crashing down on my hand and split open the fatty part of my hand between the thumb and the index finger. I so thought I was going to die!

Christmas is Coming

So Christmas is coming and for some reason I'm not so excited. I know, I know I should be jumping with joy singing the songs of Christmas and eating loads of food, but this year it's just going to be so different. See, my parents are moving house and they plan to do this on the 20th--5 days before Christmas. Who moves five days before Christmas? I just don't get it, but who am I to tell my parents when they can and cannot move.

It only sucks because I am used to having Christmas in the USA with all my dad's side of the family. He is the oldest of 12. I have 24 cousins and some of them are married with kids as well. Every Christmas we get together (all of us in one house) and just love the family relationships we have. There is no fighting, not arguing, but each member looks out for the interests of the other family members.

I have heard stories of families fighting and arguing the whole time they are together, and I have never ever understood why. I guess my family is really special in that sense. I just am blessed to have been born into such a wonderful family.

I am upset this year cause this will be the second year I will miss the celebration, and not only that, I'm not sure I will get the turkey and fixings that go along with a Christmas dinner, but I don't know if I will be able to spend time with my own family this year due to my parents move.

I am not that upset, but just wish I could have a normal Christmas this year, but it doesn't look like it will happen. However, I know God is always good and faithful, and I will make sure I am thankful that I do get to spend Christmas with some family even if it will be in a new house that will not be set up completely. I have learned to be content in whatever situation I am in. I hope this Christmas season there will be less of me and more of Jesus. I must decrease, He must increase.

God is Good

Had trouble posting my cowboy pic. I miss the horses and ranch I worked at back in my college days. One day, I will own a ranch and raise horses. Of course, if that's God's will. I know it is a strong desire I have. I love life and God has been faithful to me in the midst of everything. God has taught me over these last few weeks what His love truly is, and how He is showing me everyday His passion for His people. He has given me the opportunity to feel what He feels and has shown me that He has been more faithful than the knowing night will come and a new day will dawn. It happens again and again, yet God is more faithful than even that law.

I used to be so pessimistic on how reality would never measure up to my ideology. I needed to adjust my vision and look to the Source of Life to understand life itself. I am learning about eternity and how my life should be measured according to eternity and not according to this world's version. I know it seems simple, but sometimes I think way too much and over analyze and just get sobered up to the reality of how life is hard across this world for so many, and I have it easier, yet can tell myself my problems are worse. This is not true and I am glad to be free from that line of thinking.

God is so amazing. He has taken something dead and turned it into life. He has taken something evil and turned it into something good. He has taken me and made my life worth living even before I was born, and I am so happy and blessed to know that God will love me just the same and no different--even if I was the most prominent preacher in all the world and was used to save many people, and gave all my wealth to the poor, and was used to do many miracles; God would love me. Yes, and even if I had nothing and lost everything and ended up living under a bridge, eating from trashcans and addicted to drugs; God would still love me. My Father makes no distinctions in His love, and He favors no one over another. I love Him with all my being and will let His love move me to do His will.

I AM MY BELOVEDS AND HE IS MINE!

Mellen Family Wedding #2

Here is my sister's wedding. She got married this year (2006). As you can see I gained a few lbs from the last wedding. I couldn't help it. I love the food in Hong Kong and my job requires me to sit and teach most of the time. The air quality is poor and that's my exuse for not exercising. It's hard to believe that I'm an uncle and will be one again after the New Year. I love having extended family whom I can call brother and sister-in-law. God is so good.

The Mellen Family

So here is my family in Shanghai for my brothers wedding last year June.As you can see, we are all hotties! :) My brother has lost about 75lbssince then. He lost about 50lbs before the wedding. He is expecting a child onJanuary 1st, 2007. I will be an uncle again. (Christianna is My sister Jessica's baby. She's in the yellow.) She got married later on.I love my family. Alesha (next to the Bride) lives in Colorado.The Bride's name is Summer. And yes, her name is now SUMMER MELLEN Hehe! I love it!

My Beautiful Niece--Christianna Chan

Isn't she just adorable? Her name is Christianna which
means "Annointed One" Her Chinese name isChan Tin-Oi (Teen-Oi)meaning "The Father's Love" Is that not a powerful name?! She is so lovely.She was born on October 1st, 2006--Chinese National Day.That is the same as America's Independence Day
She will bless many Nations and will draw Nations together for the Lamb's Reward.

Thanksgiving

So this past week was Thanksgiving. Yes, what a wonderful holiday where good food meets good fellowship. There was turkey, some funky stuffing, mashed taters, cranberry sauce, and all sorts of dips and chips and appetizers of fruits and vegetables with an amazing artichoke dip. This was fun. We celebrated on the roof of a 24 story building in Hong Kong. All around us were taller building and a somewhat black view of the Harbor.

It was fun to celebrate with such an international crowd, yet my favorite part was the four American exchange students who came with me, and it was fun to finally have someone who understands American culture and humor. I love Hong Kong, but sometimes I feel like I am one crying out in the wilderness.

I love giving thanks! I am thankful for friends who spur me onward and won't walk away from e no matter what. I am thankful for enemies who God puts in my life to bring me closer to Him and teaches me forgiveness and mercy. I am thankful for a church whose ministry is blessing people left and right, and I am blessed to be apart of it and able to serve the church as well.

I am thankful to know that as far as the east is from the west, that's how far God has removed my transgressions from me. I am thankful to be redeemed and blessed to know life on earth is temporary and eternity is forever and I'm so happy to know that. It's a relief.

Free Will: Sometimes it Hurts

So the past few weeks have been full of emotions. There has been good, bad, and ugliness all around. My life was shaken to the core with my former (not due to the incident, rather because I moved to Asia) pastor Ted Haggard's admission of guilt, a friend’s failure after doing well for so long, and another friend's choice that has caused me to step back for a moment to understand better what her intentions are.

Choices are made everyday by everyone all aver this world. Some are good choices and some are bad choice. I, myself, have been know to make really good decisions, yet others only know me by my extremely poor decisions. Life has taught me over and over that good choices breed good consequences and bad choices breed bad consequences. BUT, Romans 8:28 does provide hope for me when I do choose poorly.

All this emotion hasn't left or gotten much better either, but I have chosen to stay the course that God has laid out for me. He brought me to Asia for a purpose and I will learn everything I can from this pain inside me everyday. It's very interesting that none of this pain seems to have been because of my bad decisions. Well, unless it was the decision to be open and vulnerable with others--then I guess making a good decision can sometimes breed bad consequences. But I embrace this pain and this wonderment of life.
Before when I was child I was afraid of pain, but now as a man I have learned to just embrace it and let God comfort me. Forgiveness is beautiful thing. My heart goes out to my friends who are navigating their way through life right now--just like most of us. I am on my knees constantly for them.

I have also learned the true value of prayer. I know that my life cannot impact and cause another's life to change for the better without that relationship with Jesus. I also know the value prayer for others as well (1 Timothy 2:1-6) and have determined that prayer is the only thing that can save a friend or foe from evil's deadly purpose. Prayer not only saves, but it something that God loves. He loves it when we intercede for those he loves because He does that very same thing. (Romans 8:26-27, 34b)

Regardless of all that happens in my life, I know that God is constant and the one thing I know God has given mankind is Free Will and sometimes it hurts. It hurts when friends make poor decisions and their consequences affect me. It hurts when I make poor decisions and hurt my friends. No matter the pain, I have found that pain, when dealt with properly, can cause a deepness to grow amongst friends. I cannot stop my friends from making bad decisions or cause them to make good decisions. I can only pray and build them up and encourage them to live with their life close to the Father's heart, and to spur others along in love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24).

I have come to realize the importance of grace, mercy, and forgiveness. I know that before I was so caught up in justice and making right the wrongs by seeking justice and maybe vengeance, I am now convinced that God loves mercy just as much as justice and somehow they are in intertwined.

I love my friends and will continue to be there for them when needed or just to hang out and do ababsolutely nothing just being friends regardless if they choose rightly or wrongly.

Thoughts From the Heart

The heart knows such troubles and sorrows that no one man or woman could comprehend or see, taste, touch or feel. My heart has evil and good, yet no man can tell the difference between the two. For no one can fathom the deceptions of the heart or feel the pangs of love and fear mixed with emotion that only can confuse and fail a man when his character is put to the test.

Humans can only sit back and cast their judgements of someones behavior. There is nothing good that can come from man, yet man is puffed up and idolized as something so significant when goodness and honesty are preached, but as soon as any hint of vileness and evil spew forth from his heart, he is judged and condemned by his fellow human being who most likely struggle with the same things if not better or worse.

My heart fails me and my bones ache with pain and sorrow at the fate of friend and loved ones who have been feeling pain and sadness, fear and anger, bitterness and death. I try and I try, but nothing can save my friends from bad decisions, save that of Jesus Christ and his ultimate grace. There is nothing good that can come from man or woman that comes from themselves for we are all sinners and should be condemned to death for even the vileness in our hearts that we battle on a daily basis.

I am not a saint in my flashiness that wants to rule and reign over my entire body. No, I have nothing good that lives inside me that I could boast as something I should receive credit for. No, only by the grace and mercy of a loving God and the cross of Jesus Christ can I even breathe a single breath or speak a single good word.

I cannot stand by and watch people suffer and hurt when it is within my grasp to help them. I will not stay silent and not confront my friends and their shortcomings, but I will supply the grace and mercy and love that could turn them from death to life.

I have lived life long enough to know that forgiveness is key, mercy sets free that which should receive condemnation, and grace moves us to continue to fight for that which is right, true, and just. Without grace and mercy judgement would condemn, and justice could not do its true and proper work.

I have friends who need prayer. I, myself, am in need of that. Please, if you are reading this and are a believer in Jesus Christ--pray for me and my friends--doesn't need to be complex, but just simple and full of faith. Thanks you and God bless you.

The Pinnacle of Pain?

So this past week was really hard for me. I woke up one day to a headline that said the president of the National Association of Evangelicals (NAE) was accused of a pay-for-sex scandal. I was hoping there had been a new president because the one I knew a year and a half ago when I lived in Colorado Springs was a mentor and a father figure to me. To my heart's pain, I opened the link and my world was turned upside-down. This was surreal. The worst part was that he had resigned his NAE post, and took a leave of absence from the church. He denied the claims, and I was shocked at the thought of what had just transpired.

I was "adopted" into Ted Haggards family while living in Colorado Springs as I attended New Life Church (NLC). I had learned a great deal about life from this man. He had mentored me, provided money when desperately needed, and was there to guide me through the questions and struggles of manhood. I dined at his house, and his son was one of my closest friends. I was content in Colorado and loved this Haggard family deeply!

At first, I knew something was awry the minute he left his posts so quickly. Ted Haggard was always being accused of something, somewhere, with someone who hated him for whatever reason. It was just something he dealt with, and nothing ever came of it. I knew that day (the day I read the the first article on the drudgereport.com), my life and his life would never be the same. Wow...was it changed--for the better though.

I still love this man, and what he has taught me will always stay with me. I am in no way angry or bitter toward his actions. I know it must have been inconceivably hard on him to have these thoughts and desires that were not natural to him. He must have felt shame and embarrassment every time he talked to his councilors to receive help and prayer. After so many years of dealing with the thoughts and feelings, walking in freedom, then feeling the same things he didn't want to feel, he stopped fighting, and the darkness "dominated" him.

I cried so many tears this week; not because I was so hurt by Ted Haggard, it was cause I hate it for him. It pains me, cause I feel his hurt and his pain cause I am close to him, close to his family, close to that splendid body of believers at NLC. I hurt cause the body of Christ hurts.

Not only did these events affect me, my dad informed me that another Pastor in Montanaa (a wonderful friend of our family) lost his fight with leukemia and went on home to be with Jesus. It broke my heart once again. A great man who stood firm and lived his life to the fullest!

Not only that news, I have a wonderful friend who has been fighting alcoholism and lost a battle with it this past week. I care about her so much, and know her heart, but failed to keep her from the evil stuff. She got drunk after a few weeks of being sober. She was put in that position through a friends invite, but I left her there at the party without any accountability. My heart broke again, and once again I cried and cried and cried. I care about her so much, yet I didn't stop her from her binge.

Not only that, I cannot get a hold of my friend in Europe who may or may not be pregnant due to some indiscretions that pain me. It hurts and hurts. Is this the pinnacle of pain? Perhaps, but I am reminded of what Jesus suffered and my pain pales greatly in comparison.

Though I am saddened, I am strengthened by my Father to know that He never fails and her never has left me. I have decided that there is only one thing that can protect my friends and loved ones from the things of this world that could destroy them is by prayer. I cannot protect a single person from anything. I cannot just step into my friends' lives and force them to change. Grace and mercy are needed when 'mess ups' occur, but prayer can totally prevent these things form happening.

Prayer is what is needed for my friends and Ted Haggard, my mentor. I will survive and am even flourishing as I write these words. I have a renewed spirit that beckons me to pray. I have prayed more this week for my friends and family than I have in such a long time. I have thought way too long about myself and wants, and that needs to change. I am human and more than able to do the most evil and stupidest things in my life, save the grace of Jesus.

I know this may be a bit long, but I want to conclude this with telling you how much I care about the things (even little, and stupid things) that my friends do. I will not abandon any of my friends. I will defend them, love them, care for them, and keep them honest. Most of all, I will pray even more for them and less for me. My life will be better off with prayer and focus on others.

To my friend who 'messed up:' You are wonderful and awesome. I love being friends with you, and keep fighting for your freedom from addiction to alcohol. You will win, and I will be cheering for you through the whole race and will celebrate with you drinking Mountain Dew at the end of the race when you win! Thanks for your friendship. You can never change my opinion of you--whatever you do.

A Friend That Sticks Closer Than a Brother

I have a friend...a great friend. I don't know how we became good friends, but one day we met and have been friends ever since then. I've had "friends" before, but not of the quality of this friend. I was inspired by my friends blog to finally share my own insights and life with whoever wants to know.

Even though I have not been friends with my friend for many years like lots of people, I still have learned so much and have been extremely blessed by this friendship. I know that people are hurt by friends, loved by friends, stabbed in the back by friends, and even have the best relationship as friends.

A friend can stick closer than a brother. A friend will lay his/her life down for a close friend. A friend will comfort, respect, encourage, exhort, and be brutally honest. A friend will not lead others down a bad road with bad consequences. Yes, friends are fallible, yet friends grant mercy, give forgiveness freely and work through personal issues with their own friends. A friend fights to preserve a friendships and goes to bat for fellow friends and stand up and defends them. A friend will be there when needed even if they have bad hair and no make-up or gelled hair.

My friend is like the above mentioned, and I know I can trust my friend. My friendship with this friend has made my life better and I'm so thankful for that God has been good to me and may this be a friendship that lasts a long, long, long time.